I am such a Genderfluid Mess.
What the fuck is a gender? Honestly, I don't think I have a concrete one. I know last post I talked about how I'm likely not genderfluid, and it must be social pressure, right?! Well
I'm an idiot. I really do just shift my gender identity based on so many factors, from mood, to moon phase, to anything else. I just need to accept that I am in fact genderfluid, and not
externalize my shifts as some "pressure from the outside". The shifts are absolutely internal, and my own doing. There may be external reasons, but the shifts are something inside of me.
I still plan on getting on HRT, and balancing testosterone and estrogen perfectly to achieve ANDROGYNOUS ASCENSION, but sometimes it feels like a copout. But when I think that, I
need to remind myself that nothing about my gender is a copout, and if I'm a genderfluid mess then so be it, that's who I am and I should own it. And to any other people struggling with
genderfluidity, you are valid just like I am. It's okay to not be concrete, you don't have to be one singular thing. You are who you are, and if that shifts and changes that's okay! Love
yourself for yourself, and don't try and pressure yourself into a shell so that things will be "easier".
Be happy, not easy.